When we talk about boundaries, most people immediately think about saying “no.” And while that’s one powerful form of a boundary, there are actually several different types that shape how we interact with ourselves and the world around us.
If you’ve ever felt drained after certain conversations, resentful when someone crosses a line, or stretched too thin because you can’t seem to protect your own energy—you’re not alone. Learning to identify and set boundaries is a key step in caring for yourself and your overall well being. Many people are not aware that there are actually different types of boundaries to keep in mind.
The 5 Types of Boundaries:
- Physical Boundaries – Relating to personal space, touch, and physical needs. Example: Letting someone know you don’t want to be hugged
- Emotional Boundaries – Protecting your feelings and energy. Example: Choosing not to share something vulnerable with someone who has criticized you in the past
- Time Boundaries – Guarding how and where you spend your time. Example: Declining an invitation because you need rest
- Mental Boundaries – Respecting your thoughts, values, and beliefs. Example: Disengaging from an argument when someone tries to push their opinion on you
- Material Boundaries – Deciding how you share possessions or finances. Example: Lending a book but not money
We often are not taught how to set boundaries. It can feel uncomfortable because we don’t have the experience in setting them. We often are fearful of a negative response and if the person will be mad at us. An important reminder is even when it is difficult its important to set boundaries to hep protect yourself and your energy so you can life your best life.
How to Start Setting Boundaries
- Pause before reacting: Take a moment and pause before reacting in a situation where someone has crossed a boundary wtih you. What are you noticing in your body? Is there a sensation coming up or an emotion? These are signs that it might be time to set boundary.
- Start Small: Choose one area where you feel stretched thin and practice a simple “no.” This could be when a friend or family members asks for you to do something that is time involved and you know you don’t have it. You don’t need a long explanation. Simply stating “No, I don’t have time for that right now” is more than enough.
- Use Clear Language: Boundaries don’t have to be harsh—phrases like, “That doesn’t work for me right now” are both kind and firm
- Expect Discomfort: It’s normal to feel guilty or anxious at first. Remember, boundaries are about protecting your well-being, not controlling others.
- Be Consistent: The more consistently you hold your boundaries, the more natural it becomes—and the more others will respect them. It takes time to feel more comfortable with them but know by doing so you are protecting your energy, your space and your mental health. It can help you to take better care for yourself before giving to others.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish. It’s essential for building relationships that are healthier, more balanced, and rooted in mutual respect.
Are you struggling to set boundaries and feel guilt, fear disappointing others or feel anxious about doing it? Therapy Intensives can help! With the extended time in a therapy session you will be able to fully discover root causes for the struggle, process through difficult thoughts and emotions and discusover tools for coping with anxiety and depression. Reach out toay for a FREE 20 minute consultation to see if it is right for you at pathtohopec@hushmail.com or you are welcome to use the contact form below.
