If you’ve ever said “yes” when you wanted to say “no,” taken on more than you could handle to avoid letting someone down, or ignored your own needs to keep the peace, you’re not alone. When we always say “yes” to every request from others, we end up saying “no” to our own needs and wants. Over time this can cause feelings of resentment. It can leave you wondering, when can I do something for myself? When do i get a break?
For many people — especially those who have been raised to put others first — setting boundaries can feel uncomfortable, even selfish. Many people praise those who are “selfless” but we have to wonder the impact being “selfless” really is. If you are always giving to others and to to yourself, you will end up feeling exhausted and unable to do what is necessary to take care of you. The hard truth is, healthy boundaries are one of the most important tools for protecting your mental health.
When we don’t set boundaries, this can lead to burnout, anxiety, and even physical symptoms like headaches, muscle tension, and chronic fatigue.
Why Boundaries Matter Boundaries are the limits you set to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being. They help you:
- Maintain healthy relationships where respect and mutual care are present.
- Prioritize your needs so you’re not constantly running on empty.
- Prevent burnout by managing your workload and emotional commitments.
- Feel empowered to live life according to your values rather than others’ expectations.
Without boundaries, you may end up giving so much of yourself that there’s nothing left for you — and that’s not sustainable. This can also impact your physical health. You may not be tuning into your body and miss some cues that you are having some physical issues like headaches, stomachaches or tension in the body.
Why Boundaries Are Hard to Set
If you’ve struggled with people-pleasing, perfectionism, or fear of conflict, boundaries might feel unnatural at first. Common reasons people avoid setting boundaries include:
- Worrying about hurting someone’s feelings
- Fear of rejection or abandonment
- Feeling guilty for putting yourself first
- Not knowing how to communicate boundaries clearly
How a Therapy Intensive Can Help You Build Boundaries
In a therapy intensive, we have the time and space to uncover why setting boundaries feels so hard for you — and work through those barriers in a safe, supportive environment. Often this issue can be linked back to narratives taught by our parents who may have meant well but has negatively impacted you. It can take extended time to work through the struggle to set boundaries, reframe old stories and patterns and process through some fo the emotions associated with this. Setting boundaries may not have been an option for those who experienced childhood trauma and it was safer to fawn , or people please and do what was asked of you.
Because intensives give us hours (instead of minutes) to focus on your needs, we can:
- Identify the patterns and beliefs that keep you from speaking up
- Practice boundary-setting conversations so you feel confident in real life
- Use mind-body tools like trauma-informed yoga and breath work to release tension and regulate your nervous system — making it easier to handle the discomfort that sometimes comes with saying “no”
- Use Brainspotting practices which uses your visual field to process on a much deeper level any unresolved traumas
- Develop a personalized plan for setting and maintaining boundaries in your relationships, work, and self-care
The truth is: Boundaries aren’t walls that shut people out. They’re bridges that allow you to show up fully — without losing yourself in the process.
If you’re tired of feeling drained and ready to reclaim your time, energy, and peace, a therapy intensive can help you get there. I offer a free consultation. Reach out today and reclaim your life at pathtohopec@hushmail.com.
